officialsteampoweredgiraffe: When Peter Walter I began constructing an army of robots, he used whatever source of metal he could find. So it wasn’t surprising when his own cast iron stove served as the base for a bronze-laden robot.Experimenting with his highly sensitive blue matter power cores, Walter tweaked the mechanisms on the microscopic level by a minute amount- resulting in one of the cores keeping active a semi-stable rift into what Walter theorized was an alternate dimension.Walter was able to focus this portal to send anything he wanted through- which for the African War proved useful. The stove-turned-robot was equipped with this technology, a high powered cannon, and a reinforced blue matter repelling hatch to keep it stabilized and relatively safe. In battle, the robot could fire an array of seemingly ceaseless ammo because of the portal-armed cannon. Mortar shells, shrapnel, spears, harpoons, fiery projectiles, and even blue matter energy blasts roared across the battlefield from the robot’s unpredictable chest.After the war, the robot was put to use up-keeping Walter manor in San Diego, California for many years. He was fondly referred to, by the Walter family, as “Hatchworth,” on the account that no matter the occasion the robot could always supply a hatch’s worth of delicious, mystery sandwiches. The family never questioned from where these enigma eats came from, and it never was a problem until late in 1938.Decades of serving the family, Hatchworth came under scrutiny when the Walter sons played host to the Fluffy Kitten and Puppy Foundation’s Annual Gala inside Walter Manor itself. Somehow all the kittens and puppies began transforming into giant badgers, which only became worse when Hatchworth tried removing the badgers by sending them through his hatch. The giant badgers then began materializing at the Yearly Tea & Quiet Music Exhibition five miles away.Hatchworth was the only robot at the gala serving the guests, and upon examination Peter Walter II discovered a hairline fracture had been developing for years in the robot’s power core. Hatchworth had been leaking a troublesome amount of concentrated blue matter energy, and the only person who might be able to remedy his experimental power core was Peter Walter I, who at the time was bedridden and ill.Mustache and all, the Walter boys locked Hatchworth in a lead vault deep within Walter Manor until they could find a solution. But months pouring over his original schematics proved fruitless for the boys and soon months turned into years…and then turned into decades.In 2010, Peter Walter VI was struck with a moment of inspiration following an unfortunate scientific accident that left him physically scarred. He dusted off Hatchworth’s schematics and found a correlation between his own predicament and Hatchworth’s broken power core.Today Hatchworth’s power core has been repaired and he has been upgraded to include the ability to play musical instruments and sing, which comes in handy since he is the newest member of Steam Powered Giraffe.Hatchworth still likes making mystery sandwiches as well as pretending to ride a bike and reading his copy of Mustache Today when it comes in the mail. Hatchworth FAQWhy does a robot need glasses? Because he has bad eyes.Don’t you have a drummer that looks a lot like Hatchworth?No idea what you’re talking about.Okay, so who’s drumming?……..dammit.ALRIGHT GUYS CLOSE ALL THE DOORS WE HAVE TO DO ANOTHER REVEAL. Eeeeee!!!! So much excitement!

officialsteampoweredgiraffe:

When Peter Walter I began constructing an army of robots, he used whatever source of metal he could find. So it wasn’t surprising when his own cast iron stove served as the base for a bronze-laden robot.

Experimenting with his highly sensitive blue matter power cores, Walter tweaked the mechanisms on the microscopic level by a minute amount- resulting in one of the cores keeping active a semi-stable rift into what Walter theorized was an alternate dimension.

Walter was able to focus this portal to send anything he wanted through- which for the African War proved useful. The stove-turned-robot was equipped with this technology, a high powered cannon, and a reinforced blue matter repelling hatch to keep it stabilized and relatively safe. In battle, the robot could fire an array of seemingly ceaseless ammo because of the portal-armed cannon. Mortar shells, shrapnel, spears, harpoons, fiery projectiles, and even blue matter energy blasts roared across the battlefield from the robot’s unpredictable chest.

After the war, the robot was put to use up-keeping Walter manor in San Diego, California for many years. He was fondly referred to, by the Walter family, as “Hatchworth,” on the account that no matter the occasion the robot could always supply a hatch’s worth of delicious, mystery sandwiches. The family never questioned from where these enigma eats came from, and it never was a problem until late in 1938.

Decades of serving the family, Hatchworth came under scrutiny when the Walter sons played host to the Fluffy Kitten and Puppy Foundation’s Annual Gala inside Walter Manor itself. Somehow all the kittens and puppies began transforming into giant badgers, which only became worse when Hatchworth tried removing the badgers by sending them through his hatch. The giant badgers then began materializing at the Yearly Tea & Quiet Music Exhibition five miles away.

Hatchworth was the only robot at the gala serving the guests, and upon examination Peter Walter II discovered a hairline fracture had been developing for years in the robot’s power core. Hatchworth had been leaking a troublesome amount of concentrated blue matter energy, and the only person who might be able to remedy his experimental power core was Peter Walter I, who at the time was bedridden and ill.

Mustache and all, the Walter boys locked Hatchworth in a lead vault deep within Walter Manor until they could find a solution. But months pouring over his original schematics proved fruitless for the boys and soon months turned into years…and then turned into decades.

In 2010, Peter Walter VI was struck with a moment of inspiration following an unfortunate scientific accident that left him physically scarred. He dusted off Hatchworth’s schematics and found a correlation between his own predicament and Hatchworth’s broken power core.

Today Hatchworth’s power core has been repaired and he has been upgraded to include the ability to play musical instruments and sing, which comes in handy since he is the newest member of Steam Powered Giraffe.

Hatchworth still likes making mystery sandwiches as well as pretending to ride a bike and reading his copy of Mustache Today when it comes in the mail.

Hatchworth FAQ

Why does a robot need glasses?

Because he has bad eyes.

Don’t you have a drummer that looks a lot like Hatchworth?

No idea what you’re talking about.

Okay, so who’s drumming?

……..dammit.
ALRIGHT GUYS CLOSE ALL THE DOORS WE HAVE TO DO ANOTHER REVEAL.

Eeeeee!!!! So much excitement!

Oct. 1 2012
Via officialsteampoweredgiraffe
2,103 notes

Notes

  1. ellistaylor reblogged this from trekkiebeth
  2. imjthm reblogged this from bunnybennett
  3. skillcrow reblogged this from bunnybennett
  4. querulouschutney reblogged this from officialsteampoweredgiraffe
  5. hazelcoulson reblogged this from trekkiebeth
  6. poweepow reblogged this from officialsteampoweredgiraffe
  7. whirlwindofspades reblogged this from officialsteampoweredgiraffe
  8. haythams-rockin-booty reblogged this from bunnybennett
  9. lionnotamouse reblogged this from officialsteampoweredgiraffe
  10. hall-of-wires reblogged this from bunnybennett
  11. superhighschoollevelbullshitter reblogged this from bunnybennett
  12. artsysamathy reblogged this from officialsteampoweredgiraffe and added:
    wow wow WOW HE’S SO COOL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  13. jahwagnarok reblogged this from officialsteampoweredgiraffe
  14. theroyalleech reblogged this from officialsteampoweredgiraffe
  15. spectralsheep reblogged this from bunnybennett
  16. pasacali reblogged this from oncetier
  17. absolutelyspecial reblogged this from bunnybennett
  18. verlogue reblogged this from beznadezhnyy and added:
    Introducing: Hatchworth
  19. jenniferweir reblogged this from bunnybennett
  20. michabelle reblogged this from bunnybennett